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Becoming a new parent is filled with many emotions – joy, love, pride – but it can also be an intensely challenging time. Sleep deprivation and exhaustion often come hand-in-hand with having a newborn. If you find yourself barely getting by on broken bits of sleep, take comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

Most new parents struggle with serious fatigue and disrupted sleep patterns. In fact, a recent survey showed that 59% of parents with babies under one reported their little ones sleep less than four hours at a time. That means mom and dad are also missing out on longer sleep stretches.

While exhausting, this phase of life is temporary. As baby grows in those first months, they’re working on mastering essential skills – nursing, sleeping for longer spurts, settling into a schedule. And you, brave mama warrior and loving papa bear, must push through profound tiredness to provide round-the-clock nurturing care.

The good news? There are plenty of tips and tricks to make sleep deprivation more bearable. Let's cover all you need to know, from coping strategies to sharing duties with your co-parent so you both get rest.

Normalizing Exhaustion in Baby’s First Year

Every newborn is unique, but almost all babies sleep very lightly and wake frequently during their first months of life. Their tiny bellies demand nourishment every 2-4 hours. If you’re exclusively breastfeeding, that also means mama is rousing just as often to feed baby.

While nature equips you to handle night wakings with specific hormones and a strong maternal drive, missing out on several consecutive hours of shuteye can leave you utterly depleted – physically, mentally and emotionally. You may wonder, “Is this normal?”

Sleep Deprivation is Common Among New Parents

The short answer? YES. You’re living the shared reality of mothers and fathers everywhere. Sleep deprivation comes part and parcel with adding a new family member.

For at least the first three months, most experts consider babies “newborns.” During this phase, expect frequent wakings, light sleep, and feedings around the clock regardless of day or night. It can seem relentless compared to an adult sleep schedule, leaving parents drained.

To quantify the scale of exhaustion, a study published in Sleep Medicine followed over 2,000 couples in Germany throughout their transition to parenthood. Researchers found:

• Both mothers’ and fathers’ sleep duration and satisfaction decreased substantially for the first 3 months after birth.
• Most parents didn’t return to pre-pregnancy sleep levels until 6 years later – even as babies slept better!

The science confirms what parents already know firsthand: surviving newborn sleep schedules is a marathon, not a sprint. Knowing you’re not alone in the struggle can provide some consolation as you push through.

The Newborn Phase Will Pass

It may seem endless in the thick of it, but this too shall pass! As baby develops over the next year, so will their sleep patterns. Take it one nap and one nighttime waking at a time.

While every child follows their own schedule, you can expect baby to start sleeping more soundly for longer spurts around:

• 3 months: Infants begin falling into more consistent nap and nighttime sleep cycles. They need fewer night feeds. Many babies give a longer “stretch” of 4-6 hours straight.
• 4 months: More infants sleep up to 8 hour stretches as they learn to self-soothe at bedtime and consolidate nighttime sleep.
• 6 months: Baby becomes capable of discerning day vs. night. They take consistent naps and may readily sleep 10-12 hours overnight with 1-2 brief wakings to feed.

As baby grows past the newborn stage and their sleep foundation strengthens, so will yours! But in the meantime, there are plenty of coping strategies to help the whole family.

Sleeping When Baby Sleeps: Fitting In Naps

You’ve heard it repeatedly: “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” Easier said than done, you might think. But prioritizing even brief rest periods for yourself truly matters for well-being. Here’s how to make nap time count:

Nap Every Time Baby Naps

Carve out pockets of rest multiple times during the day. This might mean:

• Co-napping as you nurse baby to sleep.
• Setting an alarm to snooze when baby goes down for a morning or afternoon nap.
• Scheduling family/friends to visit while baby sleeps so you can sneak away to rest.

Don’t feel guilty about leaving chores undone in favor of sleep. Remember, resting fuels you to be the best parent possible.

Brief Naps Are Beneficial

How long should you nap? Good news: Even relatively short periods of 10-30 minutes enhance mood, energy and mental sharpness.

Aim to nap daily when baby sleeps, even if you only manage 45 minutes total scattered across the day. Over time these pockets of renewal add up!

Optimize the Napping Environment

Create an inviting, sleep-friendly scene in your bedroom or baby’s nursery to make the most of nap opportunities.

• Block Out Light and Noise: Invest in some blackout curtains or an eye mask to mimic darkness. This boosts melatonin production.
• Try a White Noise Machine: To dull household noises that might disturb you. Some babies love white noise too!

With a tranquil atmosphere for napping, you’ll slide into slumber faster and wake more refreshed.

Sharing Night Waking Responsibilities

Parenting is a team sport – especially surviving sleep deprivation! Work out a nighttime game plan with your spouse or partner so you both get a chance at longer sleep stretches.

Split the Night Into Shifts

Divide and conquer! Take turns being “on duty” so the other person gets an uninterrupted block of sleep every night. For example:

• One parent handles the first half the night, being available to feed, comfort baby between 10pm - 3am. They sleep solidly from 3am onward.
• The other parent covers the “second shift,” assisting baby between the hours of 3am through dawn.

Even one longer stretch of 4+ hours makes a big difference in functioning the next day. Modify timing based on your schedules.

Alternate Feeding Duties

For breastfeeding moms: Pumping breastmilk allows your helper to take over some night feeds. Skip just one session to accumulate a bottle stash.

Yes, waking up to pump at night is still taxing. But it enables your partner, friend or postpartum doula to step in. This approach allows them to bond with baby while giving you valuable recovery sleep!

For bottle feeding parents: Take turns preparing bottles and handling wake-ups! No pump required – just agree who’s up when.

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